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I'm alive :D

1/7/13 by beakerboy
Updated 1/15/13

I just edited the post from S: "death" INF: "hmmm"
to me being alive n stuff.


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well this was a waste of my time


Why are you killing yourself?


Please be happy again.


PhobotechPhobotech

1/15/13

Hey man, you're human. But it takes a man to admit fault, and take strides to fix themselves.

I'm glad you're alright. Don't trash your potential, man.

1/15/13 beakerboy responds:

Yeah what I did was wrong. And careless. And reckless. And obsessive. I want to join a martial arts studio. I think it'll help give me balance like you mentioned


You shouldn't do it. It's fucking retarded to do it.

But if you DO...

...DON'T be the despicable scum that feels the need to take innocent lives with you.

I dunno if you're doing this for attention, or if this is a cry for help, I don't know you. I don't know the situation. But it's some heavy shit. Lemme put it to you in perpective.

Hormones. Why do you think they call it "high school drama?"...that's the one era of your life where hormones are crazy intensified, and you're detecting the hormones and pheremones and chemicals of all of your classmates....

...You ever been in a room where somebody starts SCREAMING when they're mad and you feel an OVERWHELMING TENSION in the room, or have you ever been so angry that you just SHAKE. That's CHEMICALS, dude. It's not something you smell and are like "oh that smells like rage" or when you detect someone's uneasy and afraid, you don't go "oh that smells like fear." ...the nose is involved but it's not an apparent scent...that's shit released out of their body that your nose detects.

Now that I've tried to illustrate how we're all basically a gland factory...at your age? That shit is working over time on all KINDS of crap...ever wonder why teens act so goddamned crazy? It overloads your brain. Stupid crazy mood swings will dominate your mood for the next couple of years. It'll still be there, sort-of, when you're 18, but you'll learn greater control over them in time.

See what I'm trying to say? Don't make a fucking DUMB permanent mistake over a temporary ordeal. Most school faculty are scum, it's true...they have to deal with crazy hormonal kids all the time, and they're underpaid so they inadvertantly carry over a sort of bitterness....but what they are unintentionally (or rationally attempting to) demonstrate is the VERY REAL and VERY VALUABLE LESSON that there will be SHIT HEADS above you all the time in the chain of command.

What will define you as an adult is how you cope with that. The ultimate challenge and point is to overcome those assholes and triumph despite them...you ain't gonna do that by talking about killing yourself; that'll only complicate things when someone who knows and cares about you reports all that talk, and you get put under suicide protection, y'know? It ain't worth it.

Nothing about it is worth it.

No one is invulnerable. Don't waste your life over something petty.

1/15/13 beakerboy responds:

You're right, on pretty much everything you said. I never attempted suicide, but I was locked in a facility for one night. Everybody said the same thing: Find a positive way to cope with stress. I can't believe how far I let myself fall. Suicide is just crazy. Self-harm is crazy. I can't even remember why I harmed myself before. And I wasn't put on any meds. I think I'll be good when I'm an adult. Thanks for the uplifting post :D


dont do it youve still got so much to live for